fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
