Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
