did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
