You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
