She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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