She said her name was "party"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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