JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
