You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
