Walk of Shame. In a state park.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
