If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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