I wish I could punch you in the face.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
