yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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