your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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