nut hugger
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
