You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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