gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
