I hate all girls vehemently.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
