whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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