the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
