I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
