Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize