good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
