a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I stole a fireplace last night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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