i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
