she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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