Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
