we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
