I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
