Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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