I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
