I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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