How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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