The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
