Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
