I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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