I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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