that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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