If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
