U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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