sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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