he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize