C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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