we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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