I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
