i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
