Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My pussy is not your playground.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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