Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
