i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
