Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
