Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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