a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
