the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Boobs speak an international language.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
