kristin has been a bad kristin
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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