I wanna bring you to show and tell
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
