i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
We're facebook friends in real life
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's great music for shaving your balls
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Randomize
