Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
