My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
