found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You smell like stripper and shame
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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