My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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