I want to make a zoo with you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
