No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize