if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Terrible idea I love it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
