but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
