Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
