Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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