I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
