Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
