He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
