Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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