I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
