3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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