I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
