we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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