Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
