stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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