After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize