Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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